


Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop

by wook77



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-19
Updated: 2012-05-07
Packaged: 2017-11-03 22:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/386896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wook77/pseuds/wook77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not exactly easy to transition from comrades, brothers-in-arm to lovers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt at the kinkmeme - _ManShep/Kaidan - Falling In Love In ME3  
>  If you haven't romanced anyone in either of the first two games, I find the romance between ManShep and Kaidan to be exceptionally sweet._
> 
> _The build up of the relationship between these two in ME3 is so emotional. From Kaidan reassessing his life after his brush with death, to the rebuilding of trust and reconciliation with Shepard, to accepting the possibility of wanting more than friendship between them._
> 
> _And when Kaidan hesitantly confesses, Shepard realises he wants someone in his life to love as well and smiles at Kaidan like he couldn't think of anyone better to try it with. So sweet._
> 
> _But after that it seems like they go straight into "relationship mode" which is a little jarring since going from long time friends and comrades to intimate lovers is not a seamless process._
> 
> _So I would like to see a fic set in that in between period of hopeful akwardness when going from friends to lovers. Maybe they hang out in the lounge together, take a walk on the citadel, play poker, clean guns, whatever highly trained space marines and Spectres do on dates. So long as there's awkward, getting to know you again chit-chat (they have been out of contact for most of 3 years at this point) and nervous (it's been so long, how does this dating thing work again?) type situations._ ([here](http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/4037.html?thread=10660037))
> 
> Title shamelessly stolen from a Landon Pigg song because I suck at titles.

It's weird and all manner of awkward as they walk around the Citadel after lunch. John isn't certain how close he should walk. Does he walk closer than he had before? Should he walk further away? Should their arms brush? Should they hold hands? Kaidan keeps looking at him, little darting looks that, when he's caught, shine a shy smile at him before he looks away again. 

John's never felt more awkward in his life. He'd kill for Udina to try another coup attempt right now. At least that would give them something to do other than exchange quick glances and shy smiles. John's never been shy a day in his life and he's about ready to kick his own ass. 

Then again, he's never been on a date like this. He's never wanted something like this before. Ever since watching his family and friends get slaughtered by Batarians on Mindoir, John's been too busy making amends. The Alliance psychologists had a field day with him in their assessments, going on about how his driving need to minimize losses had something to do with the way that his parents had hidden him in the hayloft on the farm and how he'd listened to his friends and family die while he got to survive and how that led him into saving so many people on Elysium against the Batarians. They always seem to be happy to point out that that's why he puts his people first and himself second, that he has to atone or redeem himself or make reparations or whatever fancy psychologist word they want to use. 

So, yeah, he's had a problem seeking out something for himself. It's why he doesn't know what he's doing here. He's never really dated before, never really wanted to. There's always been missions and battles. Kaidan's not the first that he's wanted though John's wanted him the longest. Whenever he's wanted to get off, there'd always been a willing body in a club – handjobs, blowjobs and the very occasional fuck. Always civilians, never his crew. Not only has he never been willing to violate the fraternization rules but he's been the Commander for so long that he'd feel like he was taking advantage, that the crew member was only sleeping with him because he was The Commander. And even if they weren’t, he'd feel like they were thinking about promotions based on their skills in bed. Up until his death, he'd been the golden boy of the Alliance and he knew it. 

Now, Lieutenant Alenko, his subordinate, is Major Alenko and his superior officer, at least in rank. They're both Spectres and it feels so much less like he's taking advantage or being taken advantage of. For the first time since he was sixteen, he's free to date and he doesn't know how. It's not like there are handbooks and manuals out there that teach him how to assemble a date, putting all the pieces together like a particularly well-done rifle. It's not even like a mission because there clearly is no enemy and the desired end result is unknown. 

Do people, on unexpected first dates, end up in bed together? He looks at Kaidan once more and, caught in the act, he smiles quickly and then looks forward again. Besides, where the hell are they walking to, anyway? Are they aimlessly ambling along or is there a purpose to what they're doing? There should be a purpose, John decides, because otherwise, they're taking time away from saving Earth and the idea of that doesn't sit well. 

"Relax, I won't bite," Kaidan says, stopping in the middle of the walkway on the Presidium and touching the back of John's hand with his fingertips. 

John startles out of his thoughts and glances at Kaidan while the crowd parts around them. 

"If you're not… if you don't…" Kaidan looks over John's shoulder and then looks to the ground as he stumbles over his words before making eye contact and touching John's hand once more. "If this isn't really what you want, I'll be fine with that. We can continue serving together, no hard feelings." 

"It's not that." 

"Then what is it?" Kaidan's looking at him and it's then, for the first time in three years, that John realizes Kaidan is slightly taller than him, just enough that John has to tilt his head back slightly to make eye contact. How had he never noticed that? 

"Where're we going?" John asks, not ready to confess that he's never been on a date before. 

"I thought you knew." 

"I was following you." They exchange awkward smiles, once more and then laugh at one another. "So where do you want to go?" 

"New _Blasto_ flick is out." Kaidan grins, this one full of promise. "We could act like we're kids again. Hold hands in the dark, fight over some popcorn." 

"Never got to do that as a kid." 

"Really?" Kaidan raises an eyebrow at him and John nods. "Then it sounds like we have to do it. My treat." 

John feels better now that there's a purpose to the path they're traveling as Kaidan leads the way to the theatre. There's a spring in his step and, this time, Kaidan's smiles in those quick little glances have a bit of heated promise behind them, as if they're not just going to watch an awful movie and share some popcorn. 

"So you didn't ever go to the theatres on Mindoir?" Kaidan asks as they approach the theatre. 

"With my parents, yeah, when we could get away from the farm but for dates? Not really. By the time my parents would've allowed me to start dating, the Batarians had come." 

Kaidan freezes in place so suddenly that it takes John a step or two to realize that Kaidan's not beside him. When he turns, Kaidan's staring at him, a horrified expression on his face. "Did I say something wrong?" 

"No, John, I'm sorry, I forgot. I wouldn't have asked if I'd remembered." Kaidan sounds stricken. John takes the two steps back to him and puts his hand on Kaidan's, squeezing it. It feels weird, that he can touch Kaidan freely like this when he'd only dreamed of it, longed for it. 

"Nothing to be sorry for." Deciding in for a penny, in for a pound, John entwines their fingers and tugs Kaidan closer to him. "Don't you have a movie to pay for? I want to see Blasto get his partner." 

Soon enough, they've bought their tickets, the promised bucket of popcorn and found seats. As they watch the advertisements for other movies in the almost empty theatre, John tries for another conversation before it gets awkward between them again. "So what were your moves when you were a kid? You ever do the yawn and arm around the shoulders?" 

"Never got to do this. Brain camp." Kaidan shrugs and there's the awkwardness again. Right. They'd both had rough childhoods. 

It comes to John, then, that neither of them have much experience with this dating thing. He'd thought maybe Kaidan would lead the way but it's clear to John that he's going to have to lead this mission into the unknown. First step when they get back to the _Normandy_ is research. He'll have to poll the crew and have EDI look up some information for him. Until then, he'll make it up as he goes. 

"So you never did this?" John looks at Kaidan, grinning at him as he fakes a yawn and then stretches, putting his arm around Kaidan's shoulders while the house lights fade. 

"Didn't get a chance to do this, either," Kaidan says as he mimes sliding off the armrest between them to lean his head against John's shoulder. "Good thing you caught me." 

John enjoys the movie though his enjoyment has little to do with Blasto's antics on the screen and more to do with the fact that Kaidan teases at his hand as they reach for the popcorn at the same time. Or even the way that Kaidan's smell has combined with the popcorn smell into this weird amalgamation of popcorn, spicy cologne and ozone. It definitely has something to do with the way that Kaidan's hand rests against his thigh and the way that Kaidan laughs next to him, the happy sound going straight to John's gut, making him half-hard in his pants as it keeps coming. Then there's the way that Kaidan leans in, breath teasing John's ear as he makes a snide comment about Blasto's antics. 

He never wants this to end but, unfortunately, even Blasto has to eventually end. As they exit the theatre, John's omni-tool chimes and he curses under his breath. He'd forgotten he was to meet Liara. 

"What's up?" Kaidan asks as they walk out into the brightly lit Presidium. 

"Forgot to meet Liara. I should probably head there." 

"So I'll see you back at the ship, then." 

"Yeah."

"All right." 

"Yeah." 

They're staring at one another, awkwardness building and building as John tries to figure out what he's supposed to do. It's clear that Kaidan's waiting for something from John but damned if he can figure it out. Then Kaidan's lips brush across his and his brain catches up before stuttering to a stop at the feel of them. They're so much softer than he'd ever thought they would be, so much fuller. John opens his mouth on a gasp at the unexpected pleasure of the kiss when Kaidan's tongue slips into his mouth. His hands come around Kaidan, gripping his waist as he pulls him in closer. 

When air becomes a necessity, he pulls back from the kiss and leans his forehead against Kaidan's, panting the same air. "Wow." 

"Yeah."

The omni-tool chimes again and Kaidan huffs a laugh. "Liara calls." 

"See you back at the ship, then." John should step back but he can't make himself, not while Kaidan's hands are still on his body. 

"Didn't we already have this conversation?" 

"Yeah." They both laugh again before Kaidan leans in and brushes his lips against John's once more. 

"See you back at the ship, then, Commander." Kaidan squeezes his waist and then steps back, sketching a quick salute and then walks off. John watches him as he walks away, appreciates the shift and play of his ass as he walks. Then Kaidan turns and winks at him, catching him in the act. 

He messages Liara that he's on his way and then hurries. Liara's expression changes as he approaches but he doesn’t get a chance to ask her about it before she starts talking about her childhood. She lulls him into a false sense of complacency so when she finishes discussing her mother, he's not at all prepared for her to ask, "So what put that smile on your face?" 

"What one?"

"The one on your face right now. Since you're never late, I assume that something momentous happened?" The memory of lunch with Kaidan and the movie and then that mind-blowing kiss makes his grin spread. "I like that one better." 

"Nothing happened. I just had lunch with someone." 

"Oh?" 

John might not have a lot of experience with dating but he knows better than to kiss and tell. "Yeah." 

"Keep your secrets for now but you forget who I am," she teases as she hip checks him before leaning back over the barrier. "I'll find out eventually." 

"I'm sure you will." They're silent as they look over the water and gardens. It is peaceful here. It doesn't remind him of anywhere on Mindoir but it does make him think of swaying fields of crops and the smell of things growing. His brain takes a flight of fancy and makes him think of the growing relationship between him and Kaidan, that the greenery around mirrors them, that it's lived through so many attacks and invasions just to bloom flowers in spite of what it's been through, all of it gives him hope for the future. The two of them have been through so much, so many starts and stops and starts again, that they're blooming in spite of the attacks that have happened and will happen in the future. In this moment, John thinks that they'll be able to survive anything. 

"Huh," Liara says next to him. 

"What?" 

She reaches out a hand and touches her fingers to his where they brush against his lips, tracing the path that Kaidan's lips and tongue took. "You have a bit of irritation here." 

"It was lunch." 

"Did this lunch forget to shave?" John flushes and then can't help but join in on her laugh. "I am happy for you, no matter who this 'lunch' might be. Come, it's about time to report back."


	2. Chapter 2

John's grateful that she drops the subject as they walk back to the ship. Considering how many intimate conversations he hears every time he walks through the Citadel, he's stopped discussing private information and, especially, mission-centric information. After the coup attempt, he finds it hard not to believe that there's Cerberus listening in.

They get back to the ship and John makes his way to his quarters. "EDI, could you put a privacy lock on everything for the next hour?" 

"Of course, Commander." 

"Include my electronics, please." 

"Of course, Commander. If you require assistance, however, I am available." 

"Thanks but not now." 

If he gets to the point that he has to ask for dating advice from EDI (regardless of his earlier plans, he's since had his pride speak up for him on _that_ ), he'll consider himself beyond assistance. As he gets his pads fired up with research about various artifacts and war assets, he logs in to his main terminal and searches for date ideas. By the end of the hour, he's frustrated with everything – war assets, asset retrievals, negotiations between various factions, Catalyst research and dating research. 

It's not like there's a beach for them to walk along and hold hands. There's no long walks in the woods ahead, not unless it involves hunting Cerberus troops and getting fired at from all angles. The possibility of going out for a romantic dinner involves heating up rations in the mess and sharing a table surrounded by crew members. 

"Commander, the command crew is gathering for the evening meal." Speaking of meals, EDI's voice interrupts him just before he starts pacing. 

"Thanks. I'll be right down." 

John sets his terminal to researching asset retrievals and then heads down to the mess. When he steps into the room, he can't help but seek out Kaidan, exchanging quick smiles with him before assembling his plate. Here's another area that he has to figure out the game plan – does he sit next to Kaidan? Does he greet him differently? Deciding that they're still teammates first and dating second, John nods at him, smile still on his face before he sits. Letting Kaidan figure out the seating thing isn't being passive aggressive. It's delegating responsibility, something any good commander should be able to do.

Liara sits next to him while Kaidan grabs a seat further down the table just before Garrus slides into the other seat next to him. As they eat, he can't help but sneak glances down the table at Kaidan. He has to lean slightly forward so he can see around Garrus's bulk but he figures he's doing a good job covering it by reaching for his cup. 

It's not until after the dinner is done that he notices Liara staring at him. As Kaidan approaches, she raises an eyebrow towards John before looking at Kaidan and saying, "How was lunch, Major?" 

"Very good. Thanks. Why do you ask, if I could?" Kaidan's gaze slides to John and then turns back to Liara. 

"I was just concerned that, with your duties as Spectre in addition to serving aboard the _Normandy_ , you wouldn't have time to take care of yourself." She reaches out a hand and brushes over Kaidan's lower lip. "Do you have a food allergy? There's a small amount of irritation here." 

"No, I must've scratched myself or… or something." 

"I see." Liara inclines her head and then walks away. 

"What the hell was that about?" Kaidan asks as they both watch her leave. The mess is almost completely empty. 

"I think she's gathering information." 

"About?" 

"What caused my irritation?" John says, pointing at his own lip. Kaidan's expression goes from confused to smoky and promising in a heartbeat as he takes in the damage to John's lip. "Seems that something at my lunch caused a minor amount of irritation." 

"Sounds like we need to pick better things to eat at lunch, then. Perhaps we could go out for another meal to watch each other's backs?" Kaidan raises an eyebrow and, unlike when Liara did it just a few scant minutes ago, John wants to taste that arch, feel it under his lips and trace the tip of his tongue along the small wrinkles it causes. He wants to feel them under his fingertips and, before his brain catches up with his hand, he's tracing the lines. Kaidan's gaze goes even darker, promising all sorts of actions that they probably shouldn't be promising in the very public mess. 

"Sounds like a plan, Major. Glad you're willing to watch my back, even when eating." John's hand traces back along the wrinkles until he's cupping Kaidan's cheek. 

"Anything for you, Commander." Kaidan's voice is soft as he turns into John's palm. John doesn't know what to say to that, he can only rub his thumb along Kaidan's cheekbone. "Guess I should, uh, go do something?" 

"Um, yeah. I have reports running in my quarters I should look at." John finally drops his hand only to find Kaidan reaching out to squeeze it quickly before releasing it. 

"Just, uh, let me know the next time you go for lunch and I'll provide back-up." Kaidan's grin, that combination of bashfulness and promise, is back. John feels his own smile appearing, echoing the sentiments. 

"Will do, Major." 

John steps back and then heads out, striding to the elevator quickly, before he does what he wants which is to turn around and kiss the everlasting hell out of Kaidan, right there in the mess. When the elevator doors open, Liara's inside. "Heading to your quarters?" 

"Yes. I have reports running on some asset retrievals that are part of tomorrow's mission." The doors slide closed as the elevator ascends. 

"I have some additional information that will make that easier, if you have a few minutes to collate our research." 

"Of course."

Once they're in his quarters, Liara pulls out her notes and, as she hands them over, she smiles at him and says, "I'm happy for you and Major Alenko. You both deserve happiness." 

"Thank you." 

"Now, about that relic – " Liara pulls out her notes and John makes a point of only concentrating on the issues in front of them. 

In the next few days, they're so busy that he doesn't have the time or mental capacity to worry about dates. He's too busy worrying over whether or not he should take Kaidan along on the missions, if he should leave him behind in an effort to protect him and what, exactly, he should do about the way his protective streak has suddenly manifested into worrying over the wrong look being given to Kaidan. 

It's Vega that calls him out on it, after a scanning mission had turned into a clusterfuck of Reapers chasing them as they'd hurried for a shuttle. It was supposed to be an easy mission and why he'd asked Kaidan to accompany them. Just a quick in-retrieve-out mission and it would've been nice if someone had told the Reapers that as husks swarmed their position. 

John's so busy watching Kaidan's back that he forgets to watch his own and a husk jumps onto his back. It's only by dint of his training that he's able to swing the husk off his shoulders and onto the ground before putting a couple of blasts between the eyes. 

"Hey, Loco," Vega says as soon as the husks are clear and Kaidan's glaring at him across the small clearing they'd chosen as a defensible position. 

"Yeah?" John's scanning the vegetation, looking for more of the bastards as Kaidan works at radioing Cortez for a new pick-up. 

"Something wrong with the Major I need to be watching for?" Vega holsters his rifle and then cracks his neck. 

"What?" 

"Look, I get that the Major didn't trust you before but, uh, well, you've been pretty obvious about your lack of trust in him so I'm wondering if something happened there that I should watch out for. I've got your back, you know that." 

"Nothing happened, LT." John looks away from Vega to see Kaidan approaching. "I trust the Major implicitly." 

"No disrespect meant but you got a funny way of showing it. You ever trust me like that, you give me a heads up. Don't want to miss the action, you know? Getting sidelined cause you 'trust me implicitly' would suck." 

John doesn't get a chance to respond because Kaidan's gesturing towards the right. "Cortez says two minutes." 

"Let's head out, then." 

Cortez is waiting and it's easy enough to load the relic and grab seats. When John goes to sit near Kaidan, he receives a glare in response. He has no idea how to deal with this and so he doesn't, he just grabs a seat in the middle of the shuttle, looking at Kaidan who is studiously avoiding looking at him. Vega gives a snort and draws John's attention. 

"Oh, Loco," Vega says, shaking his head in a decidedly patronizing manner. 

"We're cleared for the _Normandy_ ," Cortez interrupts. 

Soon enough, the shuttle is in the bay and Kaidan stalks out of the shuttle. "Goddammit." 

"Look, I'm not one to put my nose where it don't belong but if you've got something going on with the Major, you need to fix it. For my sake, if not for anyone else's. It's a pain in the ass to be stuck doing all the work while the two of you don't argue your way outta whatever it is that's going on." Vega snaps a salute, as if to make up for the insubordinate tone but ruins it with a wink. "Seriously. My ass is the one that's gonna pay for you guys being pissed at each other." 

"We're not angry with one another." 

"Not what I'm seeing here." Vega saunters out, calling out for Cortez and helping him finish the procedures. 

Their banter is easy and gives John a bit of white noise to concentrate on rather than how the hell he's fucked things up with Kaidan. He never should've tried this with Kaidan. He should've just stayed friends and pushed the need and want deeper under. It's just that whenever he thinks about doing just that, he remembers Kaidan's hesitant confession, the way that Kaidan hadn't quite been able to make eye contact as he'd said what he'd been looking for. He has to salvage this, figure out just where he'd gone wrong and fix it. 

Except that Kaidan doesn't care about John's plan to fix things because he's nowhere that John can find him. He's not in the armor area and he's not modding his guns. He's not in the crew quarters and he's not in either observation area. He's not in the engine room, with Garrus, with Liara, visiting Joker. He's not in medbay, which, while a relief, means that John's at a loss of where to find him. 

Giving up for now, at least until he figured out what he did wrong, John heads up to his quarters. He's not looking where he's going so he misses seeing Kaidan leaning against the door until he's almost stumbled over him. "Kaidan," he breathes out, relieved that Kaidan's there but also nervous from the way that Kaidan's glaring, arms crossed over his chest. 

"Want to tell me what the hell all that was about, Commander?" Kaidan's tone is conversational but John hears the edge to the words anyway. 

"What was what about?" He tries to get Kaidan to confess what John's done so John can figure out how to fix it. He opens the door to his quarters and gestures Kaidan in. As Kaidan stalks into the room, John can't help but admire the curve of his ass, the subtle shift and sway. He's touched that, felt it under his palms and he wants to feel it again, regardless of how mad Kaidan is. Hell, with the way that Kaidan's clenched and tight, John thinks his ass would feel even better under his palms. 

"You ignore me for every mission until the patsy one then, when it blows up in our faces, you spend more time taking my kills than protecting yourself. That husk almost had you!" 

"I'm fine." 

"You _weren't_. Look, I just don't know if this is going to work. I'm starting to regret saying anything." 

What. 

_What?_

"If this is going to interfere with the mission, with saving Earth, then I can't do this, no matter how much I want to." Kaidan doesn't have an edge anymore. He sounds resigned. Sad. 

"I…" John doesn't know what to say.

"Forget it." Kaidan strides past him but John grabs his arm, turning him around and pressing him against the aquarium. 

"I just wanted to keep you safe. That's all." John's leaning in against Kaidan's chest, lips a hairsbreadth away from Kaidan's.

"You can't do that. We're soldiers, John. You have to treat me like I'm capable because," Kaidan pauses and then puts his hands on John's chest before shoving him backwards. "I _am_ capable. You forgetting who the second Human Spectre is?" 

"Never." 

"Just because I want more of you doesn't mean that I want less of your respect." Kaidan reaches out and pulls John back in, until they're as close as they had been. 

"I respect you, Kaidan. You wouldn't be here if I didn't." 

"Then the next mission we go on, you let me have your back and you trust me to have my own, too." 

"Will do." 

"Good. That our first fight?" Kaidan's anger melts away, to be replaced with that teasing grin filled with so much promise that John has to taste it. 

"Yeah, I think so," John murmurs before leaning in and touching his lips to Kaidan's. Kaidan's lips open up under him, letting John's tongue sneak in between them to taste Kaidan's mouth. That brush of tongue on tongue is electrifying, making John want to get more as he tilts his hips in and feels Kaidan's responding rutting. Delving his hands into Kaidan's hair, he holds Kaidan in place as he ravages his mouth, seeking out more and more of that taste. Kaidan's just as frantic, tugging at John's shirt and pulling it free from his waistband. 

"Not the greatest second date, ever," Kaidan says it against his lips while his hands run up John's back and then he drags his blunt nails down John's back. John arches into the feel of Kaidan's hands on his body. 

"Yeah? It could've been worse." John tugs at Kaidan's shirt and pants, unfastening a button here and a button there so that Kaidan's clothes are half-on and half-off. 

"How? Thresher maws? Maybe we could've had a glass of wine while Cerberus troopers shot at James?" 

"Live action movie right in front of us."


	3. Chapter 3

"Yeah, I'm certain James wouldn't mind. He's a one man wrecking machine," Kaidan murmurs it against John's neck just before his teeth clamp down on the juncture of shoulder and neck. John arches into the bite, tilting his head to give Kaidan more room to explore as his hands fumble with the few buttons and fastenings still needing attention. 

Just as he's about to finish with the last fastening, his omni-tool goes off. "Commander?" 

"Yes, Traynor?" John leans his head against Kaidan's shoulder. 

"Priority message from Admiral Hackett, sir." 

"Of course. I'll be right there." 

"Yes, sir." 

John steps back and looks at Kaidan as Kaidan straightens his uniform, putting everything right again. John can feel the slight irritation from the stubble of Kaidan's jaw along his face and down his neck, hoping it won't show through the transmission. 

"Talk about wrecking something." Kaidan gives a self-conscious laugh as he reaches out and straightens John's collar. John fumbles with his own uniform, tucking in the shirt and trying to make himself presentable again. 

"Yeah," John responds with his own self-conscious laugh. 

"Go save the galaxy, Commander." Kaidan leans forward and brushes his lips across John's. 

"Yes, sir, Major, sir." John snaps a salute, heels clicking together. 

"You sassing me?" 

"Sassing?" John cocks an eyebrow at the word, trying to keep a straight face as he holds the salute. Kaidan flushes, grins and then reaches up and pulls John's hand from his forehead, giving it a squeeze before placing it at his waist. 

"Go on, Shepard, Hackett's waiting for you and I have expense reports waiting for me." 

"Doing mine for me?" John tries for a charming grin, possibly with a slight hint of flirtation, only to make Kaidan laugh at him. 

"It'll take more than that." 

"Glass of wine while Vega gets shot at?" 

"More like it." 

They head out to the elevator and, as it travels down, John reaches a hand out, looping his index finger around Kaidan's pinky finger. The smile he receives makes it worth it to keep the hold as the doors slide open. "Good luck with your reports, Major." 

"Good luck with your own reports."

John doesn't let go of Kaidan's pinky until he's walking away, their arms hanging suspended between them for just a moment, Kaidan's pinky crooking over his to prolong it just a bit longer. The only witness is Traynor and she smiles before miming zipping her lips shut, locking them with a key and then tossing the key over her shoulder. He nods at her and then goes off for the next update from Hackett. 

The conversation is short and to the point. They're off to rescue some ex-Cerberus scientists. John loses the moment to talk to Kaidan as he organizes the mission, plowing through the few notes he has and collaborating with EDI. Still, the conversation is fresh in his mind and Kaidan is the first one summoned to the mission briefing and assigned a spot on the roster. 

The mission itself is a whirlwind of meeting up with Jacob once more and then avoiding Cerberus. John catches himself wanting to cover Kaidan but he does his best to let Kaidan take care of himself during the firefight on the roof. It's a thing of beauty to watch Kaidan flare blue as he uses his biotics, sending Cerberus soldiers flying. Then Kaidan turns to him, grins and points his weapon at John. The bullet flies a little too close for comfort as it heads over his right shoulder. Kaidan salutes with his weapon and scans the area, all of it before John can even say "the fuck?!" to the idea that Kaidan just pointed his weapon at him. 

John turns and sees the Cerberus soldier lying dead behind him. He's extremely glad he's brought Kaidan along because not only did the guy just save John's life but he was _hot_ when he did it. John could get used to watching Kaidan be capable and watch John's back. It's like dancing but without the loud music, the Asari dancers and the alcohol. Besides, this is a dance that John's much better at than one that requires sultry moves and seduction. Hell, he'd rather watch Kaidan flare blue and hold his weapon just so than watch him on the dance floor. It's even better than that because here, only John knows what's hidden under that armor, not that he's seen it but he's felt it, felt Kaidan's response to his hands, knows what his breathy moans taste like, feel like. 

"You all right, Shepard?" Garrus asks as he steps into John's view of Kaidan as he continues to scan the area. 

"Yeah." John barely resists the urge to peer around Garrus's bulk. Why the hell had he been so stupid and missed out on watching Kaidan's moves before? He'd always been talented but ever since, well, whenever, since they'd been separated by John's death or since Horizon or even since Mars, Kaidan has turned battle into a symphony. 

"Are you certain there are no problems?" Garrus starts examining him and John glares at him. 

"No problems. Let's keep moving." John uses his best 'don't fuck with me' voice. Of course, it doesn't work on Garrus, who only grins at him. 

"Of course, Commander." Garrus almost purrs the words at John. 

"All clear, Commander." Kaidan interrupts before John can snap something, probably not-very-witty, at Garrus. 

"Thanks for having my back, Major," John says, trying to convey more than his gratitude, his smile curving into the one that seems to only come out for Kaidan. 

The answering grin he gets tells him that his message has been received, loud and clear as Kaidan's voice goes low and intimate, "Anytime, Commander." 

"If we're done with our double entendres, perhaps we can get these towers functional?" 

"You in a rush, Garrus?" John teases Garrus as they head off to finish the job. It's not his fault that Kaidan's in the way and he can brush his armor-covered hand against Kaidan's armor-covered hand. Nor is it his fault that he has to step close enough to smell Kaidan wrapped in ozone, battle and sweat. That smell is going to stick with him for a very long time. 

"About time the two of you stopped dancing around one another. Now if you could do that when we don't have Cerberus breathing down our necks?" 

"Don't know what you're talking about." John winks at Kaidan before taking off to the first tower. 

The memory of Kaidan's scent does stay with him as they complete the mission, getting Jacob and Brynn off to the Alliance to assist. It keeps him going while he works through the debriefing and all the reports that go along with it. It haunts him when he tumbles into bed far later than he wanted.

Between the smell and the memory of Kaidan's lips on his with his skin under John's hands, John can't help it when his hands drift down into his underwear and grip his already hard cock. It's not the first time he's gotten himself off with the image of Kaidan but it's the first time that he's had so much detail to use in his fantasy. He pictures them back leaning against the fish tank, only this time, it's John pinned to the fish tank by Kaidan's weight. As he starts to tug at his cock, John pictures himself naked, the cool glass against his ass as Kaidan's fully dressed and kissing him. The memory taste of Kaidan's mouth fills John's mouth as he works his dick harder, his free hand reaching up to pinch a nipple as he thinks about Kaidan's hands on his chest and turns it into Kaidan's mouth against his nipple. To give a bit more realism to his fantasy, John licks his fingertips and then pinches his nipple again, the moisture only adding to everything as his brain fills in the way that Kaidan called him "Commander". 

His balls draw up as his hand drifts down his chest and then up again, brushing everywhere it can, fingertips catching on scars as he kneads his chest and pulls in time. Moaning into the empty room, he pictures Kaidan sinking to his knees, fully clothed and looking up at him, that grin from earlier staring up at him. That's enough to send him flying over the edge of orgasm. 

Wishing for the sonic showers from the old vids, John makes his way to the bathroom and cleans himself, losing the scent of battle. Then he collapses back into bed, curling around a pillow and, for a brief moment, wishing he was anyone else so that he could have another old vid scene: a nice dinner, maybe a bottle of wine, lots of conversation and teasing touches while they watch one another across the table dressed in suits with too-tight collars and cufflinks that reflect in the light. Instead, their courtship's been a quick lunch, an awful movie, dinner with the crew and a few battles. 

In the morning, he heads to breakfast and sits across from Kaidan. It's close enough to his romantic fantasy that he flushes, especially when Kaidan looks up at him as he bends over his plate and _that_ smile graces his lips. John's dick responds to the flirtation, making his uniform trousers uncomfortably tight. His surprising shyness takes over as he looks to the side, avoiding Kaidan's look. When he glances back, Kaidan looks confused, that promising and secret grin 

"Problem, Commander?" Kaidan asks. 

_Oh, fuck_ , his brain supplies as the rest of his blood rushes to his dick. Of course, Kaidan would mention his rank. He flushes, actually completely flushes bright scarlet red, as he looks at Kaidan across the table. 

"No problems." 

"I keep hearing that phrase, Shepard," Garrus adds. "Just when I think I know most human idioms, you teach me some new interpretation of a phrase." 

John hadn’t thought it possible but he flushes even harder. His skin's hot enough to cook on. Kaidan's grin comes back, even more teasing and promising than ever before. "No problems," he whispers, almost to himself. 

"I've got reports to file," John says, thinking to escape. 

"Spectre reports?" Kaidan asks, looking up at John under his half-lidded eyes again, his hair partially blocking his look and it matches, exactly, the look from last night that he'd imagined only this is even better because Kaidan's got a twinkle that he'd never imagined. 

"Yeah. The Council wants more details on a previously filed report, preferably filed in triplicate." John rolls his eyes as he subtly presses down on his cock to take it from half-erect to soft so he doesn't give himself away when he stands. 

"I'll join you. The turian councilor wanted something from me." Kaidan stands and looks at John expectantly. "Or do you mind that I join you?" 

John stands, shaking his head and hoping that his cock isn't noticeable. "Don't mind at all." 

They make their way out of the mess, oblivious to the grins exchanged around the table as they leave. John pauses at the elevator, "Want to head up to my quarters or maybe starboard observation?" 

As they wait, John takes the opportunity to stare at Kaidan, a foolish grin on his face. 

"I'll meet you at your quarters? The report I have to write is sensitive." If John hadn't been looking at Kaidan, he wouldn't have noticed the strange look that passed over Kaidan's face as he spoke and wouldn't have gotten slightly suspicious at the strange tone, either. 

"Oh?" 

"I'll tell you about it when I get up there." 

Kaidan heads off and John takes the elevator to his quarters, leaving the door to slide open when Kaidan gets there. He clears a spot in his work area for Kaidan to have some desk space and gets to work on filling out his reports, in triplicate, for the Council. By the time Kaidan joins him, he's got a good idea on what he needs to say about the progress of the Crucible.

"You know how to treat a man, Commander," Kaidan says as he stands behind John, his lips against the upper curve of John's ear. 

"Oh?" John arches his neck, giving Kaidan's hands and lips plenty of space to roam. 

"You really meant that you had reports to write?" 

"Uh, yeah?" John feels like he's lost the thread of the conversation but he's quite all right with that as Kaidan's lips trace along the side of his jaw and then down his throat while his hands work at John's shirt, pulling it loose from his waistband. 

"I thought that was code." 

"For?" 

"Sex," Kaidan breathes it out against his ear before nipping his lobe. 

"Don't let the Council hear you say that." John reaches a hand over his shoulder to grab on to Kaidan as Kaidan works at taking his shirt off. 

"Reports or _reports_ , Shepard?" 

Kaidan's lips disappear but, to John, this is a no-brainer. He could answer verbally or he could turn his chair around and take what he wants. John's always been a man of action so he does just that, turning around, tugging Kaidan down into his lip and working at Kaidan's uniform while his lips find Kaidan's and taste them, slipping his tongue into Kaidan's mouth to brush against Kaidan's. 

" _Reports_ , it is," Kaidan says when they break the kiss, tugging John's shirt over his shoulders and tossing it to the side. 

"Don't know how long this chair's going to support us, though." John doesn't really care except for the delay in getting to taste Kaidan's dick. 

"Sofa?" 

"Sofa." John decides to show off, holding on to Kaidan as he stands up, pausing for just a moment as Kaidan wraps his legs around John's waist. Figuring Kaidan's secure when his lips start up on John's neck once more, John makes his way to the sofa, pausing for a second to kiss Kaidan against the fish tank. With Kaidan's back against the tank, John lets go long enough to push his hands into Kaidan's hair and hold his head in place while he ravages Kaidan's mouth, nipping his bottom lip and then sucking his top lip into his mouth, deeper until Kaidan can't move away. At Kaidan's moan, John lets go of his lip but can't stop touching and kissing what exposed skin there is. Kaidan's hands aren't placid, roaming up and down John's back and scoring it with his blunt nails. They're rocking into one another, frotting harder and harder. If they keep this up, they're going to come in their pants before they even reach the sofa.


	4. Chapter 4

"Thought you said 'sofa'? Not that I'm complaining, because I am not complaining at all." When John bites down on the juncture of shoulder and neck, Kaidan's head falls back, thumping into the glass. "You keep that up and I'm going to come in my pants." 

"You ever do that?" 

"What? Come? Of course I have, John." Kaidan sounds scandalized at the idea. 

"No, come in your pants." 

"Of course." 

"I haven't." 

"Really? I find that hard to believe? Not even when you were a teenager?" 

"Too busy training. Took the studies too seriously. Can't be the Alliance golden child if you don't knuckle down and study. Whenever I got off, it was at a club or something." 

"So you've never just made out with someone?" Kaidan's rocking's stopped and John's cock feels the loss. 

"No. Why? That a problem?" 

Kaidan's mouth quirks, a quick little grin that makes John's heart skitter. "No problems." 

"You, uh, you don't think less of me?" 

"I like being the first something for you. Get me to the sofa and we'll make out like our parents are going to catch us. Never got to do that, either. Even at brain camp, we were all too scared to try anything." 

John nods, grabs Kaidan around the waist and carries him over to the sofa. "Bed would probably be more comfortable." Course, he hadn't thought of that until they were already on the sofa. 

"Bed's too adult. We're making out like teenagers, remember? That's what a sofa's for. You treat me nice and I might allow you to second base." 

"Oh? What's second base?" 

"You'll see." Kaidan leans back, touching John's chest before pinching his nipples. John thought the fantasy last night was amazing but the reality is so much more, especially as he watches Kaidan lean forward and lick his nipple, all without breaking eye contact. "Second base." 

"Can't wait to see the next one, then." 

"That might require something special from you. Or you could try to catch up." Kaidan laughs, the sound freer than John's ever thought he'd hear in these times. He needs this, almost feels like he deserves this but he doesn't, not really, because he's taking time away from saving Earth. Hell, Kaidan's parents were probably running for their lives right now and here he is making out with their son. "Relax, John, we don't have to go further than this, if that's all you want." 

"I want everything," he says back. "I want everything I can get from you plus things that I've never thought about. I want it all." 

"You say the most amazing things." 

"Yeah?" 

"That'll get you to third base, at least." 

"Gotta reach second, first. Looks like you're overdressed for the mission, Major." John pulls Kaidan's uniform shirt off, baring his tightly muscled chest. John reaches out a hand and traces the musculature, running his fingers along the dips and rises with only his fingertips. When he looks away from his hand, he sees Kaidan staring at him, a transfixed expression on his face. "What?" 

"I never…" Kaidan's voice drifts off. 

"Never?" 

"Never really thought we'd be here. Never thought I'd have someone to be here with." Kaidan shakes his head before reaching out a hand and tracing John's lips before cupping the back of John's neck and pulling him in close. John can't think of a thing to say to that confession so he takes Kaidan's lips while his hands play with Kaidan's pants, unfastening them enough to sink a hand in and caress the top of Kaidan's dick through his underwear. "So much for just making out." 

"We can do that some other time. I want a taste of your dick." It's Kaidan's turn to flush as John pushes him back against the cushions, his hands busy with tugging Kaidan's pants and underwear out of the way. 

As John sinks to his knees in front of the sofa, wiggling Kaidan's hips so he can pull Kaidan's pants around his calves, Kaidan's hand cups John's scalp, playing with his ear and teasing the back of his neck. John licks at the tip, tasting precome as he looks up at Kaidan. Grinning up at Kaidan, he presses his cheek against the side of Kaidan's dick as he buries his nose in the juncture of thigh and groin, breathing in before licking that small fold. Kaidan bucks up into him, pressing his nose in even deeper before he sinks into the sofa once more. John licks his way around the base of Kaidan's dick to do the same on the other side while his hands reach up to hold Kaidan's hips secure against the sofa. 

Kaidan's right hand leaves John's scalp to grasp at John's hand, entwining their fingers and pressing them against the sofa next to his hip. It's a small intimacy that strikes John. He's never had that happen in any of those backrooms, never had anyone show that sort of care. He's used to demands moaned out in the heat of the moment, maybe a hand forcing him deeper onto the cock he's sucking. Each of those experiences had been hot in their own way but nothing beats the way that Kaidan's hands squeezing and releasing around John's trapped hand while John starts to suck, lips slipping over the head and further onto his dick. Kaidan's hips buck slightly in time, never very far, the control amazing John even further.

With that, John gives himself up to tasting as much of Kaidan as he can, hollowing out his cheeks while his tongue works over that vein and tries to absorb Kaidan's taste. Kaidan's moaning in time with John's hand as he jacks him, lips meeting fist. The feel of Kaidan's hand on his head, tracing along his scalp, running the tip of his finger along John's earlobe, while his other hand squeezes and releases John's convulsively, has John echoing the moans around his mouthful. 

 

John lets go of Kaidan's dick, trusting Kaidan not to thrust too far and gag him, as his hand delves between Kaidan's closed thighs to play at the skin just behind his balls. His blunt nails catch on Kaidan's thigh, making Kaidan buck harder, pulling back and then pushing out the same short distance rapidly. 

"Coming, John, coming." Kaidan pushes up further into John's mouth. 

John hums around the cock in his mouth and Kaidan comes; irregular, little thrusts into his mouth while his head goes back and turns from side to side. John's fairly certain his fingers have gone numb from the strength of the grip around them. Nothing's more beautiful than Kaidan at this moment, as his skin flares blue, just slightly, while he breaks apart because of John. 

The feel of Kaidan's biotics tickling his skin sends him close to the edge, close enough that John's fairly certain he's going to get that first experience of coming in his pants if he doesn't get out of his trousers right now. He doesn't get the time to act on it as Kaidan tugs him up with their entwined hands, settling John on top of him as he kisses John's lips, cheek, ear, neck, shoulder. His free hand roaming and scraping at John's skin sends John over the edge, himself, rutting into Kaidan's bare groin, probably scraping the hell out of his oversensitized skin. 

"Fuck, John. I'm glad you never did that as a teenager. You might've killed your partner." 

"You saying only you can take it?" John grins, feeling the press of Kaidan's skin against the corner of his lips. 

"Hell yes. Only me." 

John relaxes against Kaidan's chest, face pressed over his heartbeat and the placement hits him in a previously unknown romantic core as he listens to Kaidan's galloping rhythm slow under his cheek. Kaidan's hands trace random patterns on his back, making him shiver with aftereffects. John can't resist licking a bead of sweat from Kaidan's chest that's just within reach. The answering shudder makes his smile spread further. For a moment, he thinks he's smiled more around Kaidan in the tiny amount of time since they'd agreed to try for this than he's ever smiled since losing his parents on Mindoir. 

"I really did have reports to finish," John whispers. 

"Yeah, me too. You know how to show a man a good time." 

"Gotta practice my moves." 

"Please never threaten me with your dancing again." 

"That's unfair. I'm a good dancer." 

"Sure you are." 

"You keep that shit up and I won't let you blow me next time." John notices that his pants are getting rather uncomfortable as the climate controlled air cool them. 

"Oh, Commander, no one dances like you, not even The Consort. Only you have the moves to make an Elcor blush and stammer. You are a god amongst us mere mortals." Kaidan's voice gets progressively higher pitched until he's simpering at John. 

"That's better." John snorts. "You want a shower?" 

"Yeah, that'd be good." 

"Then reports?" John pushes himself off Kaidan's chest and takes in the sight of a debauched Kaidan, his flaccid cock resting against his hip. John reaches out a finger and teases the tip. Kaidan shivers but doesn't make a move to cover himself. 

"If we must." 

"Get it over with and then some more making out on my sofa?" 

"You've got yourself a deal." 

"Who knows, maybe for the next time, I'll let you come along while I mod my weapon." 

"That what we're calling it now?" 

"If it embarrasses Garrus, I'm all for it." 

"You need to leer more, make it sound especially dirty." Kaidan tries it, waggling his eyebrows and leering. "Hey, Commander, want to join me while I _mod my weapon_?" 

"I'd love to. I've got a grip that you should check out." 

"No problems with that, sir." Kaidan snaps a quick salute. "If you'd strip me the rest of the way, I'd be able to look at that grip." 

John laughs, once more, as he gets to work on getting Kaidan's boots and pants off. "Bet Garrus wouldn't even bat an eye at you saying any of that. Well, other than the stripping part. Before… before all this, I'd never thought you were capable of flirting or teasing like this." 

"You bring it out in me." John looks up as he finishes stripping Kaidan and catches the serious expression on Kaidan's face. 

"I wouldn't have this any other way." 

"Me either."


End file.
